Marriage Workshop

Do you have difficulty communicating and understanding each other?

Are you stuck, arguing in circles about the same issues?

Are you in a good relationship and would like to improve it even more?

This workshop is based on the popular book of the same name.

To have a solid house that can withstand adversity, such as very strong winds and tremors, there are certain aspects to take into account; for example, it must be built from the beginning with a solid foundation and with columns that support it.

Likewise, each floor must be firm, because if the floors below collapse, the floors above will not be stable and the house can collapse. In a marriage, columns are also needed to help the marriage be more stable and happy, to allow it to face difficulties and promote mutual knowledge and emotional connection.

Julie and John Gottman created the theory of “The House of a Solid Relationship” that is supported by the columns of trust and commitment. The trust of being certain that the couple thinks and acts in the benefit of the relationship and the commitment to believe and want that the relationship will last a lifetime and act with a view to it.

The first floor, “building love maps”: getting to know the other person’s life and world. Taking into account goals, dreams, worries, hopes, hobbies, etc., because over time they change, so knowledge must be updated.
The second floor, “sharing affection and admiration”: expressing affection and gratitude continuously. Not only telling the other person “I love you”, but also “thank you”, “I love how you…” or, instead of saying “I like you”, it is recommended that you say “I like you” because, by saying it, positive aspects of the relationship are reinforced and respect and affection are fostered in the marriage.
The third floor is “getting closer to the other.” Make an effort every day to accept opportunities for emotional connection. Recognize and value the small interactions of everyday life, because these are the ones that will keep the passion alive and help you face crises.
The fourth floor, is “positive perspective: putting on rose-colored glasses that allow us to see the other person in a positive way, remembering them fondly and taking into account the good times.
The fifth level is “managing conflict.” Learning the two types of problems that exist in marriage: solvable and perpetual, so you know how to handle each one.
The sixth level is “making dreams come true.” This level is oriented toward the future, recognizing what our dreams and those of our spouse are and striving to achieve our goals.
Ex: “I would like to travel with you,” “I would like to get a master’s degree when the baby grows up,” or “I want this song to be sung at my funeral,” “learn to play an instrument,” so that together we can make them come true.
The Seventh Floor: “Creating a shared meaning”, creating traditions and rituals in the couple and family. For example, giving a goodnight kiss. This shared meaning helps the family have a sense of unity and will create a family identity.

Rituals help us know and feel that the relationship and the love we have for each other is more important than the conflict.